Got this Tokyu Hands letter set to scribble our wedding vows on
There’s just something about putting The F Man and me together. It somehow creates this awkward comedy sideshow that can get really entertaining. It’s like when you place a sachet of powder into water and, BOOM, you get legendary sea monkeys. That’s how it is with us… except the sea monkeys, in this case, are everyone in stitches while we’re the powder and water.
Related: How I designed my bespoke wedding gown, lazed away at W Sentosa Cove for my Bachelorette Party and chose my wedding solemnization venue.
This is basically my posture for half of the solemnisation – bent over while laughing
Our big day saw us at our comedic best and we weren’t even trying. I think that’s just how we are and it’s called “cannot maintain”.
The F Man was pointing out that everyone else’s wedding photos were of them sobbing, tears dripping down faces, oh-so-touching and beautiful and ours was another kind of beautiful. You know, face crumpled and nose scrunched up from guffawing, level of beautiful.
If anyone can cry listening to the contents of our vows, it would be because they were dying of laughter. I mean, come on, the epic proposal involved chicken nuggets, who would expect a sappy standard exchange of vows?
And while we were so in sync and painfully hilarious, we really didn’t practise our vows at all. No dry run and all that jazz. We basically wrote them on the night before the wedding, placed them in the envelope and left them till we needed them. We were busy burning the midnight oil, looking for references, and scribbling away on this Tokyu Hands letter and envelope set we picked up a few days before, during last minute shopping run. The F Man was even tempted to ad-lib his vows.
Our written vows were left aside until this moment when we needed to read them
Our solemnizer, Pauline, looks amused!
Just look at our Justice of Peace, Pauline, laughing like we’re doing an amateur comedy central segment.
Anyway, here are the vows we wrote and the faces we made. If it’s not as funny as I cracked it up to be… let’s just say it’s all in the delivery.
I, Freman Goh, take you, Carrie Sim, to be my wife, my partner in life (and crime) and my one true love. I promise to cherish this marriage and love you more each day than the day before. I will trust you, respect you, laugh with you and cry with you.
Regardless of any future obstacles that we may face, I will be patient and love you faithfully at all times.
From this day forward, I give you my hand, heart, my love, my wallet, and more importantly, your endless supply of Chicken Mcnuggets till the end of time.
Pleased with his chicken nugget jokes
My husband also ad-libs jokes before and after saying his vows and throughout the wedding
I, Carrie Sim, take you, Freman Goh, to be my husband.
You are my personal nugget dealer, number one salesman, partner-in-crime and seven consecutive year winner of the “Boyfriend of the Year” title awarded by my panel of besties. Now you can give someone else a chance.
As we now become a party of two in this game of life, I can’t promise to take on the role of Mercy, healing you when you kena damage, but I vow to definitely be your Winston, tanking all the shots fired.
I’ll never fight your battles for you, but I promise to always have your back and you’ll always have my ears.
While I am and will continue to be your imperfect other half and cannot help but be grumpy when I’m hangry and tired, I promise that “this shall pass” once I am filled with food or get some sleep.
And of course, when tough times come, I vow to stay and never leave, like that unmovable pile of barang barang in our room. May our relationship strengthen like our solid 925 gold wedding bands, increasing in value in times of crisis and staying strong in times of peace.
The first time I’m reading aloud my vows
My heartfelt, self-deprecating vows to my husband
When I decided to date The F Man, I knew exactly what I wanted in a partner. I didn’t want to date someone and then cry myself to sleep and wonder if someone I cared about really loved me for me, erratic overthinking state, dry humour, farts, fats and all. I would rather laugh myself silly till the wind’s knocked out of my chest cavity and my face folds up till its ugly. Guess who intuitively got the job scope and rocked it?
While I often, obstinately insist that The F Man was the one who got lucky with me, and while we both definitely got lucky with each other, I know the truth is, maybe I got a wee bit luckier.
Okay, our awkward penguin kiss… mwah!
Photography: Guan Hui & Silvia, Bloc Memoire Photography